May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
