8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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