Whod you bang
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Randomize
