Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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