I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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