dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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