The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
