thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I wish life had little blips of pornography
and i looked up. we had an audience...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
