I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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