after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
