I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
