yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
