How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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