Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
