Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
