We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
