The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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