Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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