Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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