I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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