Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
