Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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