We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
