At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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