Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
