Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
