shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
