I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
