What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
i think i just lost a toe
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
