Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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