according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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