my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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