Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
