So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
