bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
