so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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