maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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