I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
