do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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