So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
