I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Randomize
