that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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