Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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