Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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