You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
