My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
