One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
