i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
