He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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