oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
