DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
