are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I wish life had little blips of pornography
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
